everything from the last few days, basically since i went on vacation...  in order... sunday:

stoic, i want to be you.

i am in a hotel at holiday inn express in rockingham, NC.

my heart is kinda hurting for numerous reasons.
some you can probably guess. others you cannot.

this is the first time in my life that i have stayed alone at a hotel.
as in, i know no one else here.

so many things to express.
there is a little italian place nearby, a local place.
some may call it gluttony for punishment, but i imagine it will be a unique experience.

and then i'm gonna watch sopranos.

and then i'm gonna drown my sorrows....

...in the jacuzzi in my room... should be good.

its not always rainbows and butterflies.
it's compromise that moves us along.
my heart is full and my door's always open.
come anytime you want.

monday:

maybe this is just because i'm in a volatile state right now, but i just read my comments like i always do when i wake up, but i'm sitting here crying after.
i love you guys so much.

maybe the reason i am only able to be platonic is because subconsciously i just really love my friends... that's an odd theory...
but i do love my friends.

ok, now to shower.

long day...

i just took 3 advil.
it's been a long day.
i'm not going to write about all of it right now...
still processing everything.
but the comfort is, there were as many laughs as tears. and some that went from laughing to crying.
thanks for the calls. and texts.
i think i need another jacuzzi therapy session.
can anyone guess what the benefit of having a jacuzzi in your own room alone is?

goodnight all.

tuesday:

i'm not talking about my dad when i say

another one bites the dust. i just can't believe this. it's a bad dream i can't wake up from. yeah. i'm moving to gainesville. as soon as i get a good job there.

[wanna help me look?]

wednesday:

my life is officially in the air.
I have at least one job interview this week.
I am working on a portfolio site for myself.
and I am being earnest.

the feeling when you throw up that three pointer, and it's in the air... and it might win you the game...

that's the feeling i have had for over a day now... it's all so exciting and nervewracking.

2007... "bold moves"... lol.

andrew