you know The Christmas Carol? or even It's a Wonderful Life? Where the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come takes us to a dream in which he is able to view a world where he was never there? And he sees everyone laughing and talking. His existence of lack thereof was pretty inconsequential. life prospers without him.

Well... i don't know if that's exactly how the story goes... but that seems like a terrible feeling.

it is how i feel at this very moment. i am hoping it passes.