WARNING: These quotes are usually taken completely out of context, many were said facetiously, and some contain mature content.

"Oh you want the gimpy one to yank on it?" - Leah Welch

"I'm a hippie." - Matt Furlong

"F FBs, man." - Zach Colley

"I'm wiser , but I still have a penis." - Drew Allen, recovered from 2/14/08, more true now.

"A woman's nose is like a dog's nose." - Zach Colley

"I better be somebody's b*tch soon, I'm 26 years old!" - Anonymous

"There's no satisfaction unless you go all the way." - Leah Welch

"Women only hear what they wanna hear, and men only hear the truth." - Leah Welch

"Dude, you would make an awesome redneck." - Zach, to Drew

"I believe drinking alcohol is not a sin." - Mike Patz

"I've f***in' f***ed b*tches before..."- Anonymous

"Leah, let's get pregnant at the same time so we can have a joint baby shower ." - Zach Colley

"I don't know any byrons named black." - Matt Lawton

"I smell my d*ck all the time." - Anonymous

"I'm not really fond of putting my tongue in somebody's a**hole, unless it's a dude." - Anonymous

"You're what drummers look like in heaven!" -Cassie Mann, to Drew

"Granny is especially tasty." - Matt Lawton

"Thank god for herpes!" - Kyla

"Drew, keep your legs closed!" - Kyla

"I say crude sh*t all the time... Don't write that down motherf***er!" - Anonymous

"I am definitely getting arrested tonight." - Steel Clark

"I don't remember how similar their penises are." - Tim Hoyt

"I think I wanna join Starfleet." - Zach Colley

"Man, I shoulda been born twenty years ago!" - Zach Colley

"Church productions aren't sh*tty. Sh*tty church productions are sh*tty." - Anonymous

"I'm shallow... I'm the last person in the world who is shallow." - Kim Colley

"I wanna play with his badge and handcuffs." - Haley Carswell

"I probaby shouldn't eat these fuzzy little balls, should I?" - Leah Welch

"I'm just going to stare at Drew all night." - Priscilla

Drew: she doesn't like cussing... Anonymous: well f**k her, then...

"You can't say 'c*ck' in church." -Anonymous"

"All I wanted for my birthday was a booty call; is that too much to ask?" - Anonymous (on his birthday)

"Every time I like a Relient K album, I wanna punch myself in the face." - Matt Stauffer

"Size matters less than authenticity" - Drew Allen, on breasts.

Drew: What do you think about redheads? Dumptruck: the name or the candy? Drew: … the women.

"We should go to dinner so I can say dirty things to you in person." - Kyla

"Apple sucks for deleting a bunch of the 2009 quotes." - Drew Allen

Contributors included:

Zach Colley Kyla Dump Truck Corb Ertson Kim Colley Priscilla Santos Haley Carswell Steel Clark Tim Hoyt Leah Welch Matt Green Matt Stauffer Matt Lawton Mike Patz Cassie Mann Drew Allen