my life is pretty much in time crisis mode nonstop these days. it's made me stop and think. I apologize by the way, this post is not supremely eloquent or very well thought out. Editing and revising a post on my personal blog is a luxury that possibly august will afford me.

I am turning my social knob down.

I don't want to, really. But i have no other choice.

This is a phase in my life (read:single) wherein i have a unique opportunity to pursue the interests I want to, to grow and learn things in all the ways I really desire to. Many married people have told me while they don't regret their marriage at all, they are jealous of that kind of freedom.

The problem is... i'm so socially motivated. I make friends easily. I tend to open up and love good, deep conversations, and love going to movies, and catchphrase, and pretty much if i can convert anything into a social event, I will.

This sounds good, but in the end i have

a.  a large number of acquaintances (you're all awesome) b. a pretty large number of good to very close friends c. a constantly changing list of people who are good friends of mine that are angry because I haven't spent enough time with them recently. d. nothing all to show in the way of progress toward any of the goals I have set for myself in life.

I have a high list of things that demand, nay deserve my time and attention, but I am too busy hanging out to give any.

I find myself neglecting responsibilities like working out, reading, or practicing drums (things I am passionate about growing in myself) for hanging out/catching up time with a certain friend or friends. This post isn't about any particular group of friends, because they have all played that part numerous times.

If I were caught up on everything (which I will be someday soon), I might be able to be as social as I am now. but sometimes, growing up and being a responsible adult means saying no. "I can't do that, really. I'd love to, but I have some things I have to take care of tonight. or today. or this morning. or whenever."

Anyway. I just felt the need to write that here.

I don't think anyone will notice a huge change per se. But I am doing, my self, my future, and my eventual wife a disservice to not chase dreams, grow, and learn all I can now at this phase of life. (including discipline.)

PS ON THE OTHER HAND,

At the band's last show (Saturday Night), I noticed a trend: People not coming to the show because they had no one to go with. Please, I ask you not to make that a reason. See, what you might not know is, on any given night in gainesville, I have to be at or near the venue we play at until 2 am. We arrive by around 8 ish usually. Our set is usually 30-45 minutes. After that *I* am there and wanting to hang out with people (read:you). I can't tell you how many times I have been alone at a venue ten minutes after we play. Don't get me wrong I understand some people might have to get up early and so they leave after we get done. But still, I'm a lot of fun to hang out with and after we play, I'd love to actually have people there TO hang out with. So, come. If you can "survive" 45 minutes of stunning soul music while standing alone, then I'll make it up to you by being extra witty afterwards.