Unfortunately life has been far too busy to spend time dutifully blogging about it. Here’s a few headlines and summaries. Continue reading
For the first time since spring of 2008, I am not actively playing with an active band outside of church. And oddly enough I don’t really mind. Go figure.
I am home now from playing my last show with Moodhosa. I’ve been awake for 20 hours now, and i’m at the point of delerium and falling sleep at the keyboad— which i have done twice now.
I postponed the kissing booth.
I’m really grateful for all the fun times I’ve had with Moodhosa, and I’m gonna miss them.
Thanks to everyone who made it out tonight. The journey continues.
Well, I’m 28. This one really does feel pretty old.
But then again, I don’t feel that old. I feel as young as I feel (Crob quote).
Perfectly Lonely by John Mayer is definitely something like an anthem to me on this birthday.
Honestly, I don’t much mind being single at all. I kinda need it this way.
I am starting to really fight myself. and I’m gonna win. Wisdom. Discipline. Perseverance. These are my weapons.
I’m still planning to meet my new year’s goals. I’m quite far from them. But i’m confident that I will be able to meet them. I need to remember them though. I think it was 200 lbs. debt in half. I would like to be doing pull ups by the end of the year.
I want to be living simpler that’s for sure. I guess what I’m considering at this point is more of a cocoon stage. for lack of a less lame thing to call it.
There are many things I’m behind on in life, as I see it. I know we are all works in progress, and I get that. But there are a number of things about myself that I want to change, and I definitely want/need to change them on my own, more severely, as opposed to changing them over decades, as I enjoy my life along the way. Nothing against the latter, but I’m behind on time as it is. I’m 24/25 year old trapped in a 28 year old body. An overweight one at that.
My weight is one of those challenges I’m going to beat. I could be a billionaire world famous drummer with a hot wife and 3 beautiful children, but if I still looked like I do now, I would not consider myself at all a success, and I certainly wouldn’t be very happy in life.
A friend of mine recently said, paraphrased, “Big is not beautiful.” Now, I’m not at all a proponent of society’s super skinny standard of beauty. Women can be beautiful without being a size 00. However, for guys and girls alike, for us to just give up on the battle, and just say,”well, i’m still attractive in many ways…”, that’s still giving up. And giving up is very unattractive.
It’s not about looks any MORE than it is about being active and healthy. I want to canoe. I want to climb mountains. I want to not sweat profusely at the slightest expenditure of energy, like playing drums for 10 minutes, or visiting a 3rd floor apartment via stairs. I want to play basketball and be decent at it, or at least not come close to death while playing. I want to run a 5K. a 10K. Maybe even a marathon. I want to bike ride and it not be exhausting. I want to be in shape. I want to live a long, healthy life.
None of that has to do with my appearance, but it all has to do with losing a lot of weight I now have. For anyone to reject the last paragraph for being happy with their current health/weight status, and say it’s about not giving into hollywood’s anorexic model standards, needs to re-evaluate.
Hell, I want to look good naked, layer of man-fur notwithstanding.
But I digress. There’s plenty more than my health.
I want to be wise with my money. I want to save a lot more of it. I want to pay off debts.
I want to be the best damn drummer in Gainesville. Florida. The Southeast. The country. Not the fastest, or have the most gospel chops, or the fastest blast-beat pedaling, or have the most drum endorsements, or play for the most bands.
But be the best drummer. playing what’s best for the song, with the best amount and style of embellishment every time, with the best sense of tempo, with or without click, with well-tuned equipment, with the best attitude. Real humility, not false humility. Dropping beats instead of names. Playing with confidence, not cockiness. Being the best to work with, prompt, prepared, patient.
As a person, as a man, I want to have character. Integrity. I want to be the kind of person, not just that people want to have around, but that people can count on. I want to say yes to things less, but mean it so much more when I say it. I want my level of effort to match my level of loyalty to things I care about. I want to get rid of my temper. I want to be slow to anger, and more controlled with my tongue when I am angry. I want people to feel encouraged and picked up after being around me. I want to be generous.
I want to be a real man, in this age where that is more and more rare and ambiguous. I want people who, when looking for a definition of what a man is, without quantification to be able to say “However you define it, Drew is one.”
I want to be able to grow and develop and solidify my faith. I want to be able to talk to people about my faith and things that matter without feeling dumb or apologetic. I want my character to be such that people aren’t shocked to find that I play drums at a church every Sunday. And I want the things I involve myself in be doing some kind of good in this world.
Obviously, talk is cheap. I want to be a lot different than I am. But, it’s not a pipe dream anymore. It’s happening. Victory in these different areas has been tasted, and I’m hungry for more. I’m gonna make it. I’m gonna do it. And if doing it means you might see less of me than you would normally want to, you can choose to support me in the short term and know that I’m becoming who I’m supposed to be, or you can want social satisfaction from me more than you want me to grow as a person. Your call. But I’ve decided where I’m going. It’s up to you whether or not you’re going with me.
PS I’m very grateful for being blessed with a community that is very supportive of my growth.
I didn’t know how to best share this, and show it well, so I am here.
My band (www.moodhosa.com) was recently mentioned in the Gainesville SCENE magazine, the second time this has occurred. This time, we really got a pretty glowing review…
I can’t tell you how much it built me up to read the following words from the article:
They get my vote for best rhythm section in Gainesville, with Drew Allen and Ashley Wilkinson holding down the driving, primal rhythms. They play their instruments like they’re extensions of their bodies, like they were born to keep a beat. – Dante Lima, Gainesville Sun
It just feels good to have your passion recognized, especially by someone who is A) in the press and B) a musician himself.
It means a lot and it inspires me to not to give up on my dream.
To Dante, many humble thanks.
And to Dumptruck,
“We’re gonna pull through.” – Over The Rhine
my life is pretty much in time crisis mode nonstop these days. it’s made me stop and think.
I apologize by the way, this post is not supremely eloquent or very well thought out. Editing and revising a post on my personal blog is a luxury that possibly august will afford me.
I am turning my social knob down.
I don’t want to, really. But i have no other choice.
This is a phase in my life (read:single) wherein i have a unique opportunity to pursue the interests I want to, to grow and learn things in all the ways I really desire to. Many married people have told me while they don’t regret their marriage at all, they are jealous of that kind of freedom.
The problem is… i’m so socially motivated. I make friends easily. I tend to open up and love good, deep conversations, and love going to movies, and catchphrase, and pretty much if i can convert anything into a social event, I will.
This sounds good, but in the end i have
a. a large number of acquaintances (you’re all awesome)
b. a pretty large number of good to very close friends
c. a constantly changing list of people who are good friends of mine that are angry because I haven’t spent enough time with them recently.
d. nothing all to show in the way of progress toward any of the goals I have set for myself in life.
I have a high list of things that demand, nay deserve my time and attention, but I am too busy hanging out to give any.
I find myself neglecting responsibilities like working out, reading, or practicing drums (things I am passionate about growing in myself) for hanging out/catching up time with a certain friend or friends. This post isn’t about any particular group of friends, because they have all played that part numerous times.
If I were caught up on everything (which I will be someday soon), I might be able to be as social as I am now. but sometimes, growing up and being a responsible adult means saying no. “I can’t do that, really. I’d love to, but I have some things I have to take care of tonight. or today. or this morning. or whenever.”
Anyway. I just felt the need to write that here.
I don’t think anyone will notice a huge change per se. But I am doing, my self, my future, and my eventual wife a disservice to not chase dreams, grow, and learn all I can now at this phase of life. (including discipline.)
PS ON THE OTHER HAND,
At the band’s last show (Saturday Night), I noticed a trend: People not coming to the show because they had no one to go with. Please, I ask you not to make that a reason. See, what you might not know is, on any given night in gainesville, I have to be at or near the venue we play at until 2 am. We arrive by around 8 ish usually. Our set is usually 30-45 minutes. After that *I* am there and wanting to hang out with people (read:you). I can’t tell you how many times I have been alone at a venue ten minutes after we play. Don’t get me wrong I understand some people might have to get up early and so they leave after we get done. But still, I’m a lot of fun to hang out with and after we play, I’d love to actually have people there TO hang out with. So, come. If you can “survive” 45 minutes of stunning soul music while standing alone, then I’ll make it up to you by being extra witty afterwards.