the 2009 Quotes.
WARNING: These quotes are usually taken completely out of context, many were said facetiously, and some contain mature content.
“Oh you want the gimpy one to yank on it?” – Leah Welch
“I’m a hippie.” – Matt Furlong
“F FBs, man.” – Zach Colley
“I’m wiser , but I still have a penis.” – Drew Allen, recovered from 2/14/08, more true now.
“A woman’s nose is like a dog’s nose.” – Zach Colley
“I better be somebody’s b*tch soon, I’m 26 years old!” – Anonymous
“There’s no satisfaction unless you go all the way.” – Leah Welch
“Women only hear what they wanna hear, and men only hear the truth.” – Leah Welch
“Dude, you would make an awesome redneck.” – Zach, to Drew
“I believe drinking alcohol is not a sin.” - Mike Patz
“I’ve f***in’ f***ed b*tches before…”- Anonymous
“Leah, let’s get pregnant at the same time so we can have a joint baby shower .” – Zach Colley
“I don’t know any byrons named black.” – Matt Lawton
“I smell my d*ck all the time.” – Anonymous
“I’m not really fond of putting my tongue in somebody’s a**hole, unless it’s a dude.” – Anonymous
“You’re what drummers look like in heaven!” -Cassie Mann, to Drew
“Granny is especially tasty.” – Matt Lawton
“Thank god for herpes!” – Kyla Cacciabeve
“Drew, keep your legs closed!” – Kyla Cacciabeve
“I say crude sh*t all the time… Don’t write that down motherf***er!” – Anonymous
“I am definitely getting arrested tonight.” – Steel Clark
“I don’t remember how similar their penises are.” – Tim Hoyt
“I think I wanna join Starfleet.” – Zach Colley
“Man, I shoulda been born twenty years ago!” – Zach Colley
“Church productions aren’t sh*tty. Sh*tty church productions are sh*tty.” – Anonymous
“I’m shallow… I’m the last person in the world who is shallow.” – Kim Colley
“I wanna play with his badge and handcuffs.” – Haley Carswell
“I probaby shouldn’t eat these fuzzy little balls, should I?” – Leah Welch
“I’m just going to stare at Drew all night.” – Priscilla
Drew: she doesn’t like cussing…
Anonymous: well f**k her, then…“You can’t say ‘c*ck’ in church.” -Anonymous”
“All I wanted for my birthday was a booty call; is that too much to ask?” – Anonymous (on his birthday)
“Every time I like a Relient K album, I wanna punch myself in the face.” – Matt Stauffer
“Size matters less than authenticity” – Drew Allen, on breasts.
Drew: What do you think about redheads?
Dumptruck: the name or the candy?
Drew: … the women.“We should go to dinner so I can say dirty things to you in person.” – Kyla Cacciabeve
“Apple sucks for deleting a bunch of the 2009 quotes.” – Drew Allen
Contributors included:
Zach Colley
Kyla Cacciabeve
Dump Truck
Corb Ertson
Kim Colley
Priscilla Santos
Haley Carswell
Steel Clark
Tim Hoyt
Leah Welch
Matt Green
Matt Stauffer
Matt Lawton
Mike Patz
Cassie Mann
Drew Allen
The 2009 Earle Awards
Album of the Year:
Battle Studies / John Mayer
Runner Up: Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King / DMB
New Artist of the Year:
Dustin Pence
Runner Up: She & Him
TV Show of the Year:
How I Met Your Mother
Runner Up: 30 Rock
Store of the Year:
Banana Republic
Runner Up: iPhone App Store
Film of the Year:
Star Trek
Runner Up: 500 Days of Summer
Man of the Year:
Zach Colley
Runner Up Tie: John Roquemore & Matt Stauffer
Earle Lifetime Achievement Award:
My T Sharp
Everybody talks. Few do.
There’s two kinds of people in this world when you boil it all down. You got your talkers and you got your doers. Most people are just talkers. All they got is talk. But when all’s said and done, it is the doers who change the world. And when they do that, they change us. That’s why we never forget them…So, which one are you? Do you just talk about it? Or do you stand up and do something about it? Because believe you me all the rest of it is just coffee house bullsh*t.
- Rocco, Boondock Saints II