rob dougan is wise.

You’re all I want You’re all I need You’re all I’ve got All I see It won’t be long ‘Till suddenly You’ll find he’s gone And you’ll turn around and see There’s only me For whom there’s silence in your heart There’s only me Waiting patient to the last You wait and see One day your love will surely start You’ll turn around You’ll find when everyone departs There’s only me You walk in the room You take you seat You don’t turn around You don’t see me One day he’ll go You’ll find one day he’ll disappear You’ll turn around And find that not a soul is here There’s only me

She thinks that I was born yesterday She thinks that I go out with the tide and fade at the end of the day She thinks my hairs aren’t numbered And when pricked I don’t cry in pain Just cause I smile like a child born yesterday And she thinks that I was born in another age She thinks that I get up with the sun and dream my life away And she thinks that I’m going nowhere Cause I stay in one place And cause I smile like a child born yesterday She thinks that I was born yesterday She thinks that I came into this world (born without a name) And thinks cause I’m saying nothing that I’ve got nothing to say Just cause I smile like a child born yesterday

moving on…

the camp has been good…. a few notes so far….

Well, I arrived safely. That’s a good thing. It is now Sunday Morning, May 4th.
The drive was good. We saw Forbidden Kingdom. My back is killing me. I will try to find an egg crate thing in town. Today looks to be the busiest day. Setup, initial practice. play tonight. I am debating trying to go into town between now and 2pm worship practice. I might make it.

Well, I’m not sure how weird this is going to be… because I m alternating the journal between handwritten and typed. Oh well. I can always transcribe it later. I just woke up on monday morning. I missed dinner last night. I actually was only twenty minutes late, but i couldn’t find an empty spot to sit among anyone i knew. I just didn’t eat. I suppose i could have found one empty spot somewhere, but it would have been with a table full of people i don’t know and believe it or not, I’m not often down for that. I chose to not eat at all over having all those awkward introductory conversations. I’m not THAT extroverted. I have noticed though, honestly, that I become more introverted at chapter camp. I think it is a good practice for me. At any rate, I’m pretty hungry. It was also my fault that i slept through breakfast. That was worth it too. Last night was a lot of fun. The playing was good. I didn’t feel a ton, but i did feel as if i worshiped. That was nice.

Even though I haven’t gotten to that chapter yet, I feel stirred toward the practice of solitude and silence, even meditation. I am not sure if i am drawn to it in the sense of legitimately connecting with God through it, or just because of it’s general emotional and mental benefits. I do feel closer to God then though. It’s probably a sum of both I guess. That’s not a bad thing i don’t think. Oh, and i heard that Taylor (one of the staff workers) is really into Kierkegaard. I am looking forward to picking his brain and chatting about existentialism, among other of SK’s ideas.. like the absurdity of faith and it’s necessity, etc.

I hope to finish Sacred Pathways today. So far I am 2 out of the 3 I have read… Maybe I am thinking too much into it. Sensate and Traditionalist. I’m glad I am reading them thought, because it is helping define them in ways i hadn’t thought. I would not have pegged myself a sensate, before i read the book. And I am less of a naturalist than I thought I was, although it is not absent in me. My sense of naturalism comes out more in a sensate way.

Jesus, please help.

[more to come... leave some legitimate love... or you could just email me with it, that'd be cooler.]